well, i should get to bed soon...a.k.a. "Why I Write"

Blogs are destroying literature. We are every bit the "cult of amateurs" we are reviled to be. Denounce me. What do I care? I don't write from some delusion of greatness, and, by the way, I usually don't even write from the depths of my soul. I write in order to clarify my thoughts, purge my demons, and reconnect with my own head. I have many times discussed my philosophy of non-editting.

A word of advice, blogs cannot destroy literature without having acquired willing accomplices. If you don't assign any serious literary value to online journals and things, then I won't either, and we shall all be just fine.

I stereotype men. I shouldn't. I intentionally go for sexuality first and foremost in interactions with the fellas I'm attempting to get to know. Even upon knowing them, and it disgusts me to admit this, I still presume that blunt, driving, fast, loud, are the watchwords of male sexuality. This is, of course, crap. No one is so plain as that in their desires, and thank God for that. I remember discussing with a boyfriend one of my many reasons for not being sexually attracted to an aquaintance (i'm just gonna make the spellings up at this point) of his. He's not creative. He's not [interesting]. Having sex with him wouldn't be any fun. I said something to that basic effect. I don't remember the phrasing precisly. So perhaps that says it all. Sorry guys, I'll do better.

I went from home to the dorms to basically living with my best friend and boyfriend(s). I've decided that at some point quite soon I will shakc up on my own. Even if only for a while. It is most definately time to trust that I can stand, sit, eat, and sleep myself, content. That last bit will proove trickiest.

I wonder if I thinkthe holes in my personality are so large that they demand my constant efforts in their repair. Chances are if I were more willing to be flawed, I'd end up less flawed - I'd have cancelled out all of the knuckle-head nervous mistakes and I'd be happier by virtue of not feeling sharp embarassment or fearing it and sancitoning my own behavior.

and so goodnight unto you all

Katie