UPDATE
I'm feeling really selfish and self involved today, lame. why am I such a hyoersensitive little baby?
Anyhow, Meg and Jenny are great and I think in an effort to laugh at myself and nurse my own wounds I made them feel bad, I am the suck.
I love them, they know that I love them right? sometimes I worry about silly things like whether or not people like me, and if so, for the right reasons. I was walking to class sort of discussing all of this with myself out loud so i could hear myself. I was disappointed when i didn't make exec, but I was unhappy becuase this is a thing I chose that i love and I wanted to do more, I hope for their sake and for mine that I haven't become less aware of that.
Physics is beating me into the ground. After feeling prepared I still managed to do badly. How do I get back on the horse? How do you recommit knowing that the commitment won't show, won't make any difference? How do you give yourself after feeling your personal ideals toward education have been rejected before your eyes?
BLAH. enough.
I will be happy. I will work hard because I want to do well, because I want to hold my head up and feel like my education is valuable. I want to feel whole. I want to not need validation and attention like a ten year old. These are my goals, and survival with some sort of grace the next few weeks of school would also be nice. I was poking around on people's xanga's Jenny davidson got a promise ring....Congrats, so happy for her, she deserves a really good guy and I'm so glad she found one and is doing well. So cool :)
_Jamie Cullum equals happy, look him up he's a piano playin' boy and i like him lots!!!
posted by katie-thecrowcounter at 10:32 AM
3 Comments:
my girl. i think we're doing the same things this semester with school, but that's alright. almost over though, and then there's all summer to live free
Wait...you want a ring? You don't want a ring do you? I don't know anything about rings!?! PANIC!
And you think things are tough for you in physics, just think about how i feel with Math! I know it's tough to do the work when it doesn't seem to be paying off, but when you get down to it, you realize that you don't really have much choice. Evolve of die. Perseverance is the best thing to have for survival.
I suppose, breathable air is pretty good too though...food and shelter are nice as well. Okay so air, food, shelter (which includes warmth and protection), and then after those perseverance...hmm...then again, if you have air, food, and shelter, you don't really need perseverance anymore since you already have everything you need...Okay so then perseverance then the other stuff...wait but without the other stuff you die automatically! No ammount of perseverance will keep someone from suffocating. Alright new list: Air, then perseverance, then food and shelter..assuming that food and shelter are potentially available to you if you indeed manage to persevere and obtain them.
I suppose things like a sun that's the appropriate distance from said shelter, gravity, and other atomic factors are pretty important, but i mean if we started to get into all that then that would just be unnesessarily complex.
So to recap, you don't want a ring do you?!?!
shut up dan
as sweet and lovable as you are, shut up
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