UPDATE

I'm feeling really selfish and self involved today, lame. why am I such a hyoersensitive little baby?

Anyhow, Meg and Jenny are great and I think in an effort to laugh at myself and nurse my own wounds I made them feel bad, I am the suck.

I love them, they know that I love them right? sometimes I worry about silly things like whether or not people like me, and if so, for the right reasons. I was walking to class sort of discussing all of this with myself out loud so i could hear myself. I was disappointed when i didn't make exec, but I was unhappy becuase this is a thing I chose that i love and I wanted to do more, I hope for their sake and for mine that I haven't become less aware of that.

Physics is beating me into the ground. After feeling prepared I still managed to do badly. How do I get back on the horse? How do you recommit knowing that the commitment won't show, won't make any difference? How do you give yourself after feeling your personal ideals toward education have been rejected before your eyes?

BLAH. enough.

I will be happy. I will work hard because I want to do well, because I want to hold my head up and feel like my education is valuable. I want to feel whole. I want to not need validation and attention like a ten year old. These are my goals, and survival with some sort of grace the next few weeks of school would also be nice. I was poking around on people's xanga's Jenny davidson got a promise ring....Congrats, so happy for her, she deserves a really good guy and I'm so glad she found one and is doing well. So cool :)



_Jamie Cullum equals happy, look him up he's a piano playin' boy and i like him lots!!!

What I Must Do

To Do:
1) evil english research rough draft
2) Physics
3) come Sunday: eat chocolate and drink soda until I burst
4) stop watching Dan play Silent Hill 2 cuz its creepy

folksy

"It's not a put-on, by the way, I'm honestly folksy. " -West Wing

It's a quote I've been thinking about that totally applies to me. I genuinely like people, sometimes to the point where it makes them uneasy. Beyond the acceptance issues and all that, which i totally have. I fear being alone, in the dark, like children fear it. It is deep and intense inside my head. But this is beyond that. I love to talk and to hear and to laugh and sometimes I actually don't mind sadness. I love to tell stories. Usually I specialize in great tales of myself and friends at home. Anyway, just something I wanted to throw out there. I feel like its true. -katie