At this point its just annoying

MORE BAD DREAMS. SUCKS.

-katie

525,600 minutes in my head

How did we come to be as we are, you and I? More importantly, the differences, are they too great are we too extreme? Will we drown in the divide that binds us?

The Monolouges were great and I'm really looking forward to the cast party. Watched RENT wtih some of the FARCers this evening and now I really want to be a starving artist and have ideals (and talent, that would also come in handy). Is there anything really original anymore, anything that I can do that won't make me absolutely NUTS??

What will we all do when we know we are truley at the impass and must grow up.

I'll have to stop losing things. That's one blow I really didn't need from the powers that be. However this week will be significantly easier than those prior to it and an unexpected A on a test is never a bad thing. Good night, ...how do you measure a year in the life?

....stalling

Ya know, renee, sometimes, I want to cry with honest open happiness and hope for you. It's oddly comforting to know that you don't need me. If I had to go, the people left here to love you would be more than enough.

random thought I was thinking earlier : "life is better with Rio"

a joke for me: Katie: (look at beth) "no"

I love people who can write, really write.

I should be more responsible than I am, but big fat snowflakes take away my sense of duty and happiness gives me the best reason on earth to sing in my head, "hey, I've got nuthin to do today but smile"

staring blankly at my clump of self and life

Life is large and looming and I am consumed by it.

The one question you are supposed to know the answer to...what do you want? I struggle with. I have a direction, a chosen path, but a huge part of me feels alienated from it. Surely psychology is not my real future, I'm just waiting until I feel whatever it is you're supposed to feel when you find something you love that's worth doing for three or four decades. I am haunted by uncertainty and by the thought of never really knowing why the hell I do anything.

Am I afraid? Am i blocking out the right path because of the work it would require of me? Why am I not persuing music or art right now?

What am I waiting for?

I just don't want to feel stupid.


I have precious little self discipline.


I have to go back to work, I have to pursue something now, or this will only get worse, so I'm off to read and then sleep.