Will I ever be able to make it on my own

That is the question, isn't it? Much as I bitch about it, i've had things pretty good financially my whole life. I had a car when I was in high school, granted emily and i shared it when she was home and she has it now, but all i ever had to pay for was some gas, i've never paid insurance, i've never paid my own tuition for anything school related, i've never paid the phone bill, bought my own groceries or half of my clothes on my own dime, the only thing i've ever really bought was my comp. Now i'm going to buy a car and i'll pay for gas, but insurance, tuition, my cell phone bill, all of those are burdens on my parents, never on me. I'm also awful at keeping up with paper work, records, that kind of crap....and to be honest, for the longest time, my parents pushed me to get good grades far more than i ever earned them for myself.

I know that i'll have to eventually pay for everything myself, i'll eventually have to be responsible for everything in my life wihtout a helpful reminder or shove out the door from anyone, for someone who has clung to family as financial crutches her whole life, that's a daunting task. Can i handle it? will I bury myself in debt and burdens and crappy, low-paying jobs? I mean, ideally you want to find something you love and make your living around that as best you can, and i fear, as in am constantly worried, that i will NEVER find that, much less something i can squeek out a living at, at all.

I actually remember just crying for about twenty minutes in my boyfriend's bed becuase my housing plans for this year kept changing and it got me thinking about all this and how irresponsible i am. At least i've managed to work full time this summer, i look semi-responsible...to fifth graders everywhere.

I just hope i grow up someday and can actually make it, ya know?