updatey goodness

first i would like to lodge a small complaint with the universe, there were like four, beautiful Italian (that's right, from Italy) men at work today, in jeff city, i kid you not, and they wouldn't take me back to italy with them, despite a certain amount of urging on my part. (dammit, grumble grumble)

In other news, operation "try not to look like scuzzy death in just two weeks or less" is officially underway, im finally getting a haircut, sleeping, eating non-awful for me food, so i expect all of this to last a good 24 hours before i return to my lazy not so healthy ways. but hey, i did run just over two miles yesterday, part of which was up a ginormous hill. ....guys, im officially the least tidy person, ever in the world, ever. (just so's ya knows)

Recently, im also trying to cut back on some of the stupid crap i spend needless amounts of money on, thus being a little closer to my car. yea, i trust that will also last a whopping 24 hours.

I mentioned to some of my buddies at work today, that hey, its been since the last day of school that i've seen dan, the girls upstairs, etc. no wonder i miss everyone so much.

on that note, i really do guys, i miss everyone, all of you, so much, there are some friends i haven't seen in almost a year, i love you all so much, and think of you often, check up on you when i can. so hugs all around tonight. until then, kt

i got hit on by a 17-year-old kid named owen, cute kid, and all, but he's a little boy, if he were mature and 17, that would be one thing, but this kid, not so much. Plus, i'm off the market anyway.

dinner, more later.

SHTUFF

36D...got measured at one point just to make sure that number was right, it is, holy crap my proportions are ridiculous, who's built like this, anyway?

Alex is at her grtandmother's house, and i'm still looking for that perfect gift for her. I need to go running, dammit. I'm lazy. I did look up directions to my favorite barrington native, i'll probably give them to my dad so that if i do enough wheedling it'll actually be possisble to say "look, it wouldn't be that bad". Renees in Boston shopping her mind out, and i really want to be there, but if im gonna buy a car and go with the fam on vacation this summer, i need to be here working.


running errands with the mominator. hugs -kt

guess who

I'm gonna go see a movie with nene and rio...that's right RIO"S in town, kids, she's so much kooler than me. i missed her so much. more later. hugs -kt

This one goes out to the one i love

TO EVERYONE who has made this day beautiful, to all the friends that are far away, for all your love and best wishes, the little gifts that show me the great hearts behind them, for everything and everyone, thank you. that's all i wanted to say, thank you. for everything, this has been my best birthday yet. I LOVE YOU ALL, kt

PLANS FOR TOMORROW

hey kids....for my birthday i would like to get the whole gang of us together for like a nine o'clock show of BATMAN on my birthday, probably in Columbia, if you can come at all call my cell or leave me a message here (ASAP). LOVE you guys to PIECES!! hugs-kt

NEWS

2 days and counting until my birthday, and it would have been even cooler if Batman hadn't bumped up the release date two days, cretins, cuz then new batman would have come out on my birthday!

...in other news, I FOUND THE DRESS, this dress that i saw over christmas break that's beautiful and perfect for my halloween idea (im going to be a fairie)and its a little more low cut and a little less fabric in general on the bodice than im used to wearing so i really hope i don't just let it sit in my closet the rest of the year, cuz its beautiful. (but im paranoid about my body so...who knos, anyway gotta go to work)

HUGS-kt

poke poke...pay attentions to me

I MISS EVERYONE, leave a comment and let me know if ya miss me too. (what can i say, i like validation). Sarah is officially a firefighter, i went to her graduation and chillled at the station. She f-ing rocks, congrats hun.

Last night I crashed at renee's, always fan, man i love that girl (for better or worse). We were getting ready to head back into town this morning and she stretched out as she was walking over to me, cuz its morning and she hadn't gotten out of bed that long ago...the only thing i remeber thinking was, granted she's a little shorter than me, but that girl has a perfect body(:perfect figure, pretty face, biggest reddest lips i've ever seen on a human that weren't altered by chemicals, makeup, or surgery (no im not jealous, not at all) she's beautiful).

I went running again today, if i keep doing it i'm gonna be in decent shape by the end of summer, makes me uber happy. Dan seems really far away and it bugs me that i can't hug him when I want to, especially when he and his dad aren't getting along. (which happens, its no worse than me and my mom)
Either way, dammit renee is a hottie...running...might go up to see Rach since she's up in Como taking journalism 1100 this summer (SUCK)

later all. HUGS AND KISSES (cause i miss you all so f-ing much) -kt

YEAH all two of you who remember me! eh, didn't expect to get many posts anyhow but i thought it was worth a shot, anyway I miss everybody a lot right now.
I'm going to get back to watch a movie with my dad. more to come. HUG-kt

I'm going to regret putting this up, aren't I?

If you read this

You must post a memory of me.
It can be good...or bad.
Just so long as it happened.
Then post this to your journal,
and see what people remember about you.

...and now for something completely different

I'm headed out to pound some pavement. I am glad to be running again and glad for the mental clarity and/or at least the physical strength it occasionally brings me. I don't want to be wrapped up in my last post forever. I have done wrong, I will make amends, but in this matter for now at least I'm going to figure out how to do so privately.

So out I go, hot already from the humid June day, even at 6 at night I can hear the pounding of my feet just as loud as my own heart beat in my head and then the ache of knowing my muscles aren't as strong as they used to be because I haven't been on the road in so long, but the only option is to keep going and know that in a week or two it'll be a little easier. I think I'll run hills tonight, let my legs know I mean it this summer.

So i'm off to suck some wind, cause i'm outta shape, but I just needed to say something else, start something new, after that last post, I just needed to say something else.

written in earnest to someone who knows me very well

I'm gonna try to keep this short since i'm working in less than 6 hours.

A while back I did a very stupid hurtful thing to my best friend. She has forgiven me, and as i said its been a long time since then. However, I still feel a lot of guilt from it. Because of my own feelings I have immaturely let my relationship with her become awkward. I've allowed my feelings from something that I should have moved on from make me not want to talk to her, not want to face her. Things between us have been bad because of me and the way i handled my feelings (or rather how i didn't handle them and just ran away like a sixth grader hoping it would be better or go away).

I love her like a big sister, but I take advantage of that relationship. An apology seems so empty and rude, but unfortunately its what i have and the very least that i've owed her. So, you know who you are, i am sorry, i love you (though i haven't shown it in my actions toward you).

**guys, anyone who is not directly involved in what is mentioned above, i'm gonna ask you not to comment, i know that seems pompous to post something publically and ask you to stay out of it, but i'm asking, this is about someone close to me whom i've hurt and i'm asking you to respect her enough (or me enough) to just leave this one alone, thanks, goodnight, all my love and hugs all around-kt**

ITS JUNE 2ND

It's Dan's Birthday, I have a car i trust and I don't have to work tomorrow. It takes a lot to sit here and not just mapquest some directions and get in the car and just keep going to i show up at his door. No, i'm smarter than that. I might not have been two years ago, but I've learned my lesson. So I hope he knows that I miss him everyday, and that I wish him the best birthday ever. I hope he is happy. That's really all I can do or say.

So instead I think I'm gonna find somewhere to be tonight so that I don't think about it. In other news Sarah got kicked out of the Mall in Como for wearing her Vagina Monologues t-shirt (see her xanga before jumping to conclusions, i'm just as annoyed at them as you are) so to her and all those who think that the stigma around that term and so many others is awful and ridiculous, let her know you're behind her in being a little miffed.

I started running again as of two days ago, and despite a little bit of soreness I feel a thousand times better about pretty much everything now that i'm actually taking some time to run. That's my story. HUGE HUGS all around. -kt


hey dan - i miss you so much and wish you to be really happy, especially today, happy 19th birthday