I think I've decided that rant about a guy needed to come down, if you still want to read it, let me know. Its time to be done with it now. Whatever purpose I thought it would serve it should have by now and I want it gone for at least a while.
I'm a procrastinating whiner who has no time for her friends, especially the ones who should matter most. I've felt like a whore and an idiot a good portion of this week, a good portion of my time at college, sometimes it wasn't warranted, sometimes it wasn't. Regardless, i feel shitty, and i don't want to any more. I want to be sit and scream at the moon or whoever else is stupid enough to listen and then I want to be done with it. I want to stop talking all together. Except that I can't. I want to run away like I threatened to when I still looked like a little girl, now I just feel like one. Yep, that's about twenty snaps on the wrist with my happy rubber band so that I can learn to not say bad things about myself. Its a bad habit and I do it for even worse reasons.

My favorite secret desire is to have the whole world be in love with me, and it always surprises me how disappointed I am when they don't.